Too Many Lacking Things

I'm a sexually frustrated geek who loves theatre and all the other arts. I'm sure you'll notice this.

Here are some pages.


My existence  Look at me.  Best Things  Music  SashDan  Sexythings  Shuffling  People I know  Sashasnacks  Stories  Rants  Deconstructions  Things People Say To Me   Shout.   You can show me the world.


My Dad Tried Snowboarding Today.

  • Me: How'd your snowboarding lesson go?
  • Dad (some time later): Sorry I didn't answer earlier... I was in the hill skiing. Hear that? SKIING. That's how well my snowboarding lesson went. Actually it was okay but I was in so much pain, I figured I'd ski for the rest of my holiday. Would like to try it again sometime.
  • Me: Hahaha okay. We should go together at some point.
  • Dad: Sounds good (or not depending if my ass is talking).
  • Me: If your ass is saying that you should be making money off that.
  • Dad: Are you saying I should be making money off of my ass... or off of what my ass is saying? They're kind of two different things and one is illegal. Just checking.
  • Me: It's only illegal if there aren't any cameras around. Either way I meant off of what our ass was saying.
  • Dad: Got it. My ass is not very articulate. So far it's only saying "ouch" and "why?". But it's able to say it in a few languages which is kind of cool. Unfortunately, I've had trouble teaching my ass sign language. It just seems stumped by the whole 'wave your arms in the air' things... Oh wait, it has no arms. Maybe that's why.
  • Me: Maybe if you give it control of your legs and work on the mobility of your toes you can talk to yourself.
  • Dad: Hmm. €£jsh@&$%#*! You mean like that?
  • Me: Precisely. Because it's your toes it'll be sign language with an accent, but I'm sure you can figure it out.
  • Dad: Oy.
  • Me: Don't get discouraged. You might be the first person to learn buttspeak in sign language! Think of the books you'll write... How to Sign With Your Butt, How to Sign With Your Butt 2: This Time It's Personal, The Importance of Signing With Your Butt, Signing With Your Butt: The Board Game... The list goes on!
  • Dad: ... Oy2
  • Me: With the right billboards you can make millions!
  • Dad: And in translation how about Tale of Two Butts, 20 Thousand Leagues Below my Butt, Buttlet Prince of Dumpmark, and of course Gone With the Butt?
  • Me: ... You have no idea how much I love that you're my dad.
  • Dad: :)

Notes

  1. titusfog posted this