February 2012
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Can you hear my heart beating? Do you understand?
Dan: DON'T LOOK.
Sasha: At what?
Dan: ANYTHING
Sasha: I can't!
Dan: Close your eyes!
Sasha: I'll be looking at my eyelids!
Dan: Not if you CLOSE YOUR EYES.
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sozzney:
Games of Thrones - Season 2
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tearsintime asked: so... what should I eat for...
neil-gaiman: I think you may have meant to leave that at http://whatshouldieatforbreakfasttoday.tumblr.com/
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nyan-dere asked: awww you got snagged by some tumblr bot posting cheesecake. fix it.
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I find it strange that I have to pre-wear my pants for work.
But seriously these fuckers are way too tight out of the dryer.
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a template
sonnetstockmar:
lappy486:
strongbademail:
semi-offensive blogger tells all of tumblr to stop making this one joke an equally offensive blogger reblogs with said joke everyone reblogs
makes joke
charlie-mcdonnell-doing-something-silly.gif
meaningless addition to the post about how it’s funny.
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titusfog:
Jigglin little… Jiggletit babies.
Bringing this back for no reason whatsoever.
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I just realized how long it’s been since I ate a sandwich.
Holy shit I suck.
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It is donkey shit.
Dan: How can God be the man upstairs and all around us at the same time?
Sasha: Well... It's kinda like when you throw a hula hoop in the air.
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Today has not been a “wearing clothes” day.
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I got excited over the pizza that just arrived.
I said aloud that I was excited not to be using a plate.
I am an old and sad human being.
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An adventure in an (even more) improvised...
Hmm. I’m pretty hungry. I’ll have some food.
I know, I’ll have cereal!
Aw, there’s only crap cereal. Oh well, I’ll pour a bowl.
THERE’S HARDLY ANY CEREAL LEFT. BALLS.
Whatever could I possibly do?
IMPROVISE!
I AM A GODDAMN GENIUS.
POUR SOME MILK ON THAT BITCH.
PUT IT IN YOUR FACE.
DELICIOUS.
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As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself
– Manny Calavera
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My Dad Tried Snowboarding Today.
Me: How'd your snowboarding lesson go?
Dad (some time later): Sorry I didn't answer earlier... I was in the hill skiing. Hear that? SKIING. That's how well my snowboarding lesson went. Actually it was okay but I was in so much pain, I figured I'd ski for the rest of my holiday. Would like to try it again sometime.
Me: Hahaha okay. We should go together at some point.
Dad: Sounds good (or not depending if my ass is talking).
Me: If your ass is saying that you should be making money off that.
Dad: Are you saying I should be making money off of my ass... or off of what my ass is saying? They're kind of two different things and one is illegal. Just checking.
Me: It's only illegal if there aren't any cameras around. Either way I meant off of what our ass was saying.
Dad: Got it. My ass is not very articulate. So far it's only saying "ouch" and "why?". But it's able to say it in a few languages which is kind of cool. Unfortunately, I've had trouble teaching my ass sign language. It just seems stumped by the whole 'wave your arms in the air' things... Oh wait, it has no arms. Maybe that's why.
Me: Maybe if you give it control of your legs and work on the mobility of your toes you can talk to yourself.
Dad: Hmm. €£jsh@&$%#*! You mean like that?
Me: Precisely. Because it's your toes it'll be sign language with an accent, but I'm sure you can figure it out.
Dad: Oy.
Me: Don't get discouraged. You might be the first person to learn buttspeak in sign language! Think of the books you'll write... How to Sign With Your Butt, How to Sign With Your Butt 2: This Time It's Personal, The Importance of Signing With Your Butt, Signing With Your Butt: The Board Game... The list goes on!
Dad: ... Oy2
Me: With the right billboards you can make millions!
Dad: And in translation how about Tale of Two Butts, 20 Thousand Leagues Below my Butt, Buttlet Prince of Dumpmark, and of course Gone With the Butt?
Me: ... You have no idea how much I love that you're my dad.
Dad: :)
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A guy just walked into work with a big mix of random shit including electric cigarettes and cologne. He’s gone now I’m five dollars poorer and I have some kind of cool pen thing.
I think I bought it but I can’t be sure.
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I HAVE NOT been spending my time alone in the...
Shut up.
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Questions actually worth answering.
1: Apart from tumblr, what do you like to do in your spare time?
2: Name a favorite of each: food, drink, color.
3: If you married rich and your spouse gave you $100,000 a week, what would you spend it on?
4: Name a favorite of each: book, movie, tv show.
5: If you were given the opportunity to spend 48 hours with absolutely anyone (living or dead), who would you spend it with and what would you do?
6: Name a LEAST favorite of each: food, drink, color.
7: What do you spend most of your money on?
8: What kind of underwear do you prefer wearing?
9: Name a LEAST favorite of each: book, movie, tv show.
10: If you were sat on a plane beside your favorite celebrity, what would you do?
11: What is the strangest thing you have in your room? (You are not allowed to explain why you own it.)
12: What is a weird habit you have, or people have told you have. (Weird, not bad. No nail biting or any of that nonsense.)
13: What would you consider to be the biggest insult to yourself?
14: What are five things you absolutely have to have in your dream house?
15: If you could be reincarnated as any animal, which would you chose and why?
16: Which band (current or past) would you want to go on tour* with? (*Travel with, not preform with.)
17: Name a favorite of each: band, album, song.
18: Why is your favorite band your favorite?
19: How many concerts have you attended? Which was your favorite? Least favorite? If none, who do you want to see live the most?
20: What is one of your favorite song lyrics? (Who is it by?)
21: Who do you ship?
22: What band merch do you own? If any, whose is it and when did you get it? If none, whose do you wish you owned?
23: How did you learn of the band that is currently your favorite?
24: What celebrity do you idolize the most?
25: Which member from which band would you most want to lather in nutella?
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slow-riot:
A PSA from the 1950s in which they warn you that anyone who even acts friendly toward you might actually be an evil human being attempting to befriend you so that they can infect you with the highly contagious disease known as “homosexuality.”
Did people really not realize just how ridiculous that sounds?
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Pizza, cake, and 70s Batman with Mark.
I think I’d turn down sex right now.
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I need to stop watching really good filmed...
I’m thinking of cast, crew, stage directions, and ways to adapt Doctor Horrible for stage.
This idea won’t go away, will it?
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One of the things I love about Andrew Scott’s playing of Moriarty is that he’s just a constant chaotic swirl of emotion. He jumps from feeling to feeling at the heat of the moment, switching faces and voices in the blink of an eye.
He’s electric.
A brilliant choice.
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Anonymous asked: I'm not that last anon but I think the last one was kind of saying that you didn't want to have sex with Dan..I mean that's an insane thing to even think of..who wouldn't want to do crazy,sinful,ugly,gross,amazing things to Dan?????!
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Fun SashDan fact:
danteagle:
The Justice live album, A Cross the Universe, was one of the main reasons Sasha and I became such good friends.
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Anonymous asked: Awwww Dan unfollowed you? :(
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Good videos are a slow process.
Me: Okay, so I just spent 1.5 hours editing this video, time to publish it!
Sony Vegas: Sorry, what?
Me: I'd like to make my movie now.
Sony Vegas: .................................
Me: VEGAS
Sony Vegas: What?! Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. I just had to restart. Okay, make your video. Cool.
1 hour later
Sony Vegas: Okay, your video is ready.
Me: Awesome! I just want to get a look at it before it goes on YouTube.
VLC: .......................
Me: OI! VLC!
VLC: ..............................
Me: Goddammit. Task Manager?
Task Manager: Yeah?
Me: Can you tell VLC to get the fuck out of bed?
Task Manager: Yeah sure.
VLC: *groan* ......what...?
Me: VLC, stop being lazy and play my video.
VLC: Yeah... Okay... Sure...
Me: Can you stop pausing in the middle of it please?
VLC: Yeahyeahyeah, just gimmie a minute, will ya?
Me: Whatever, I'll just put it on YouTube.
YouTube: Approximately 200 minutes remaining...
Me: You've gotta be fucking kidding me...
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Exporting this video is taking a really long time.
Good thing I work in the afternoon tomorrow.
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